Past, present, and future

      Our lives haven't been too momentous in the last week and a half, but that's just fine with me. We've mostly just been playing guitar hero 3, reading together, and just spending general time doing not much too impressive together. In nice happy lulls like this, I start to fear that Sam and I have been just too spoiled the first 2+ years of our marriage, so the changes ahead will be a hard adjustment. We have had some awesome vacations together, we've never tired of each other's company, we've been really blessed with our job and school opportunities, and we were able to spend the whole summer just hanging out and being together all the time as care free as high-schoolers. We still act and feel every bit as much in love as we did when we first got married. I dont know that that honeymoon glow ever really wore off, because I see very little difference in our relationship since then except that we've grown closer together and even happier in our marriage. I really feel like it's the best blessing I could ever hope for. When I was younger I always assumed I would wind up marrying a slightly unstable and mysterious, struggling-to-find-himself type of guy that doesn't express himself well and leaves me always guessing as to where I stand, forcing me to take the roll as "the bigger person" and just assume he means well. Honestly... that's the only type of guy I ever seemed to have dated in the past. I have no idea how I wound up landing a guy that is so generous, hard-working, caring, and genuine in everything he does. Sam is truly perfect for me in every way, and he always makes me so proud and makes me feel so loved. He's never done anything to hurt my feelings or make me feel like I'm not the most important thing in his life. I'm so glad that God sent him to me, had it been up to me I wouldn't have done nearly as well for myself.
      I am incredibly excited for us to start our family together, but I must admit- I will miss my exclusivity with Sam. I really love it being just us, and I love the freedom we have together. I like being able to put money aside for cool trips and fancy TVs and I know that those days are drawing to a close. Here I thought we were doing so well, then I look at all the baby expenses and grad school expenses coming up next year and it looks like we'll just break even by the end of things. Having a baby together is the coolest thing ever, but I know I will miss our carefree "young couple" days.
      I'm also becoming more and more apprehensive about saying goodbye to my pre-baby body. I never thought of myself as very vain or caught up in my looks, but now that I no longer look cute and thin in my clothes, and can't go buy the clothes I'm used to buying at the mall because I'm too big for them, it's starting to sink in. I guess I thought I had a bit more time in my body before the pregnancy would take over, but I'm already freaking out just looking down and not seeing my flat stomach there anymore. Instead I've got this big ol' bubble shape going on. Luckily Sam thinks it's the most attractive thing he's ever seen... but for me- it's a harder adjustment. I must admit I love my pregnant belly pictures- but in real life and in my normal baggy maternity clothes, you can't see that pregnant shape at all. My shirts just drop straight down my from chest, then catch on the bottom half of my bulgey belly down below. This only makes for a "fatty" effect- not the adorably pregnant effect I'd much prefer.
      I've never had a baby before- but I hear they're pretty cool, so I can't get too glum about knowing that things will change, right? I know it will all be for the better, but I can't help but feel a bit scared to depart from where we are now.