Little Simon

     I got some really bad news about Simon at his 4 month checkup. It was so bad, in fact, that I cried on and off for a few days about it and didn’t want to post it on the blog because I was embarrassed and also just so sick of having bad news about my sweet little baby. So I waited until I could couple it with good followup news so I wouldn’t be such a downer. The time has come!
     If you remember from my post from the beginning of November (three months old), Simon’s weight was a big concern. He had lost an alarming amount between his last ear perforation and when he had his tubes put in. Between the 1st and the 11th, however, he had already gained a decent amount back so I thought that things were all on the up and up. We assumed that his loss was simply because he’d been sick during his last two eardrum perforations and that he had gotten over it and was back on track.
     He had his 4 month checkup on December 8th, 5 weeks later. I could tell that he hadn’t gained tons of weight, but he seemed to be doing really well to me and I thought that he at least had gained a pound or two. I got to the appointment only to find out that he had LOST nearly half a pound since his last checkup. My sweet baby boy had gone from the top of the charts, to the very very bottom. This is how his growth chart looked:

Height the entire time= 90th percentile

Born July 27th	8 pounds, 9 oz	75th percentile
August 10th	9 pounds 5 oz	90th percentile
1st ear drum perforation: September 8th
September 30th	13 lbs 4 oz	90th percentile
2nd ear drum perforation: October 3rd
October 19th	13 lbs 8oz	75th percentile
3rd ear drum perforation: October 22nd
November 1st Tube surgery	12 lbs, 1oz	15th percentile
November 11th	12 lbs, 14 oz	25th percentile
December 8th	12 lbs, 7oz	7th percentile

     My pediatrician and I were really concerned to see how poorly he was doing in the weight/nutrients department. It’s one thing for a baby to be low in the charts from early on and stay there, but it’s another entirely for a baby to be at the top, then plummet to the bottom in 6 weeks’ time. I was so happy that he finally didn’t have ear problems anymore, it really sucked to get blind-sided with dire weight loss issues, blurg!
     So why would this happen? The best we can figure is that during the time before he had his tubes put in, his ears were probably hurting him really badly while sucking, so he wasn’t sucking as hard during each nursing. This probably meant that my supply wasn’t getting the right cues from him to make tons of milk, thus it slowed production. Then during the two weeks after his tubes were put in while he was recovering, nursing OBVIOUSLY hurt him. He was pulling off, screaming in pain, grabbing at his head, and whimpering from it. It only lasted 2 weeks that way before he acclimated… but it turns out that those two weeks were enough for my supply to nearly completely dwindle without me knowing. 
     It is very nice to have a happy-go-lucky baby who is easy to care for and is rarely upset. It isn’t so great though when they are slowly starving, yet being too polite to give you any cues that something is wrong. I was seriously devastated when I got home from his appointment. I didn’t know what we were going to do.
     I have been a nursing advocate/enthusiast since I was pregnant with Addie. I read up all the time on the benefits of natural childbirth and of exclusive nursing and everything related to those topics. I nursed Addie for 18 months and was very proud that she hadn’t ever had an oz of formula. I never in a million years would have thought that this would happen to me as it has with Simon.
     There wasn’t time to dwell on that though, I needed to do whatever I could to help him. At about 9pm on Wednesday, December 8th, I made him a bottle of formula after I finished nursing him to see if he did, in fact, need something more than what he got from a normal feeding from me. It was the first bottle I had ever prepared for one of my own kids and it was surprisingly hard for me to do mentally. I was sure he wouldn’t want it, that it would be gross to him, and that somehow I was still all he could ever need. I was so wrong! He gobbled down 4 oz right away. 
     Ever since then, we have followed up every nursing with 4-6 oz during the day, then he eats around 8-11 oz before bed. This kid is a food machine! Seriously, he just eats eats eats all of the time now. I had no idea that he needed this much more milk than I had been giving him.
     The good news is that within the first 10 days of supplementing, Simon gained TWO WHOLE POUNDS! This is unprecedented for a baby to do at 4 months old. He went from 7th percentile all the way up to 35th and has kept gaining rapidly from there. I am SOOOO relieved! Honestly, it broke my heart at first to start using formula but now I am nothing but grateful for it. He seriously looks like a whole new baby every week, he’s getting simply huge! We haven’t officially weighed him since the 18th, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s put on another pound and a half since.
     This experience has been incredibly humbling for me. I honestly can’t even let myself think that for 6 weeks, Simon was getting about 1/4 of the amount of food he actually needed and I had no idea. He was happy, attentive, easy-going, and slept really well so it obviously wasn’t too hard on him; but it still makes me super sad to think about.
     All of that is old news now. I cannot express how giddy I was when I got home from his followup appointment and he had gained so much so fast. It was the first time I’d come home from a doctor’s appt for him without having something huge to worry about.
     So for now, we continue to nurse as much as I can give him, then we just top him off with as much formula as he wants. I am taking fenugreek (a lactation stimulant pill) and am pumping to see what I can do to up things on my end, but I honestly don’t have much hope at this point of being able to make up a 25oz per day deficit and that’s okay. I have learned the lesson that it is better for a baby to thrive on formula than to starve on exclusive breastmilk :)

     These are a little old, but I only just pulled them off of my phone so I figured I’d include them here. The first two are from three months old and the third one is four months old. They arent rivetting and I haven’t edited them down or anything, but he is sweet as can be. They aren't great quality because they're just off of my phone in indoor, night-time lighting... but something's better than nothing!