So close… so close

       This story ends with me not having the baby tonight, so this will possibly simply be a long boring post for those of you who aren't interested in hearing about the close calls. But, I want to write about our experience for my own records and for any of you baby-story-type-people who are interested in how things are progressing. If you lose interest at any point, that’s fine and dandy. Just check back in a few days and there should be the real baby post.

       So last night I was up nearly ALL STINKIN’ NIGHT with contractions (cx). Still not the horribly painful cx that I know to be actual labor cx, but they were much more painful than my normal prodromal labor/braxton hicks contractions. They were keeping me up, and I was just going nuts. Plus, when I wasn’t contracting, the baby was totally going insane! He was kicking and flubbing and poking and kicking and rolling NONSTOP. He did that for 2.5 hours straight, it was like he was literally trying to physically break free. But… my water didn’t break and the cx didnt ever turn into the real hard labor cx that I experienced right before I had addie, so I never woke up sam and I never called the midwife because I didnt think it was the real thing just yet.
       I woke up this morning (after barely more than an hour or two of sleep) really hoping that today was my day. I hit 39 weeks today, which is the day that Addie was born in my pregnancy with her. Also, my mom is super nice and is staying with us until Wednesday so we will have someone on hand in case the time came to have the baby.
       I decided to try to springboard last night’s activity into something real today if at all possible. I played with addie lots and did normal things during the day, and then at about 4, my cx picked up again. I decided I’d do my best to help them along, so I got on my birthing ball (which is just a normal workout ball), and I started bouncing and rocking away. The rest of the afternoon/evening, I did whatever I could to keep the cx going strong in hopes if kicking into real labor. I did a good job too! They were hurting BAD and 8 minutes apart for about an hour, then 4.5 minutes apart for another hour. I also had my first “show”, meaning I started bleeding and whatnot. So, I decided to call my midwife and let her know that this could be it! I ate some bbq chicken that sam made us for dinner, then took a shower and dried my hair, then gave addie sweet kisses and told her I loved her and put her to bed, then we drove to the hospital.
       Unfortunately at this point, my cx were losing their power. I was still having them every 4 minutes, but they weren’t the “real deal” ones I was having before. My spirits started to sink at this point and I started losing faith. I got to the hospital and my midwife said that I am at a 4, which isn’t too much of an improvement from my checkup on thursday. I asked if maybe we should strip my membranes to get things going again, but she was hesitant and thought it would be better for me to walk and let the baby to choose to come on its own. I was a bit put out, but I realized she was right. If this is the baby’s time to come, he will come. By this point my cx weren’t hurting at all in a labory way anymore, and I was tired and put out that the afternoon’s efforts hadn’t amounted to more. I decided to walk around to appease my midwife, but I only lasted 30 minutes or so before I was so sore and put out that I decided to just call it a night and go home and wait for the baby to come.
       So I went back inside to let her know I wanted to go home, but she decided to check me out anyway. It turns out that I had gained ground and was dilated to about a 5, but that still wasn’t enough for me to want to stay at the hospital. I knew that my cx weren’t what they needed to be for me to consider myself in “active labor”, so I’d much rather slowly labor at home than at the hospital. She tried to let me know that she would strip my membranes now that I’ve shown progress since arriving blah blah blah… but it was already 11 pm, and I just wasn’t in the mood to force-start the process tonight. The only kicker is that I’m GBS+ (a common, unpreventable, nonpermanent condition that requires the mother to receive antibiotics within 4-6 hours before the baby is born to prevent the 1 in 2000 chance of the baby getting sick from a bacteria present in the birth canal). So she offered to get me started on the antibiotics and then waiting a few hours to see if things pick up, then if they dont we’d break the water and do whatever else necessary to make him come. I just don’t like the “do whatever is necessary to MAKE him come” part. I figure that if the baby wants to come, the baby will come! Forcing a baby to come just makes for harder, longer, messier labors usually. I’d rather wait for him to come to me at this point. My water will break, or my cx will pick back up and I’ll happily drive right back to the hospital. In the meantime though, I’ll go home and try to get some sleep. Even if I can’t sleep well, I can at least play video games, eat whatever I want, and be nice and comfy in my bed rather than just staying up all night in their weird beds and getting poked by people.
       So here we are! We got home after midnight and are going to just see where things take us. It can’t be too long from here, and I really really hope I don’t regret turning down an offer to “make this baby come” sooner than later. I am just hoping he will choose to come before we have to trick him out of there and I’ll still have enough time to get the GBS+ antibiotics I need before he arrives.